The word today was about changing the way we think. Kahu spoke on training ourselves to think: "I am a BELIEVER first." Somewhere in my mental files of wise words and scriptures hidden in my heart, these words of wisdom were familiar. The first commandment (Matthew 22:37-40) say to put GOD first, make no other gods before him. (Matthew 6:33) Seek thee FIRST the kingdom of God. These words took residence in my heart this day. I've always proclaimed myself to be a believer... but have I always been a believer first?
A good portion of my life has been giving up and letting go. The easy way out, I've been told. I saw nothing wrong with that. Little did I realize what I was truly doing... I didn't believe. Not that I quit believing, but that I didn't believe that I was deserving, or worthy. I dwelled in the negative and withdrew my trust where it was merely being tested.
Philippians 4:6-8 was the passage I marked in my bible with five little stars.
6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; 7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.8 Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.
Be anxious of nothing. Of nothing the bible says, nothing. I have been anxious of so many things... my children, my ex-husband, the thought of a new man, work and other relationships. But in everything by PRAYER. Spiritual growth is impossible apart from the practice of prayer. Today I am praying more. Let your request be known. Was I telling God what I needed? What I wanted? No... I was too busy worrying how I was going to keep the lights on in my house and the phone connected. Whatever things are true, noble, just, pure, lovely, good report, virtue and praiseworthy - NIV version says "excellent"; meditate (think) on these things. I should have been focusing on the job I did have, the healthy children running around the house, and the silly bill collectors calling the phone that was still ringing. Change our thinking!
I have been separated from my husband for going on six months now. What I should be concentrating on is the fact that I am a BELIEVER and as a believer, I believe that God will make a way for me to see him again. Either he comes home to me, or I return to his side there, but I believe that God will provide those means. As a believer, I believe that I will find a job in God's due time. The job God did provide me with for a short period has served its purpose, and I am thankful for that.
Hebrews 11:6 But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him. (KJV) I prefer the King James Version, because of words like "diligently". That word is completely removed from the New International Version (NIV) where it simply states, "them that seek him." KJV charges us to be diligent, earnest... that we would be rewarded.
I have been counting the months, the days, the hours since I have felt my husbands embrace... all the longing and missing and depression that I have let consume me are my own doings. Those things are not lovely or pure. Far from good report. Why do I worry myself. Why am I so anxious. Today that all changes. Thinking of anything that is excellent and praiseworthy... like being in my husbands arms again... finding that great job, providing abundantly for my children, and sustaining rewarding relationships.
I'm glad I made it to church today.
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